But I realize that there was a time they were feeling just like I do...
It's a process. Just as life is...
And right now, the part of the process that I'm in is that I'm...feeling alone, depressed, sad, scared, and uncomfortable. Others have been here before, and they survived. I can't look at the outcome and expect myself to be there.
I've had a tough 2 years DAMMIT!
My husband cheated on me, we went to counseling for a year, and split. He moved out, we both got involved with other people, and I wasn't that careful. I had health problems and STD scares. I'm learning to be a single mom, and independent woman. I'm learning who I am outside of who I was in a marriage. I'm working for the first time in 5 years, going to school full time, and graduating.
It's overwhelming. I'm grieving over the marriage and and my up/down relationship post separation.
It's tough stuff. I'm just realizing that I do need to give myself a break, relax, and understand that the process cannot be rushed.
I'm not over it, though, I'm figuring it out...slowly...I'm not going to let these life struggles bring me down. And as Jolene over at To Be Determined wrote yesterday:
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Aw! Thanks for quoting something from my blog, so sweet...and you are right, it is ridiculously tough at times, but once you make it through, the things that used to be super hard, are that much easier, because you got through the worst part...you can do it, I am pulling for you, and just know you have it in you, deep down, dig deep, and bring it. Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to see where someone else is in the process and think, "I WANT THAT TOO!!" and try to push to make it happen. I have found that we need to let things unfold at their own time...that often the universe knows what we need, when we need it. In any case, pushing for what we think we want or what is best rarely works out well.
ReplyDeleteIt's been extremely helpful for me to work on simply appreciating where I am RIGHT NOW, in any given moment, no matter where that happens to be right now...even knowing that it might not be a place where I want to stay forever.
hang in there. It will get better, I promise.
*hugs*