I think there is an incredible balance between finding life lessons in past experiences, and moving forward. It is important to reflect on the past in order to grow in the future. Some people, like me, learn their lessons slowly....so one thing I am trying to develop is my sense of intuition regarding people and situations. Chance are, upon reflection, I knew early on that it wasn't a good situation. In turn, I'm attempting to learn my lessons the first time...
I have an ability to go back to a bad situation hoping something will be different, when nothing has changed. And I think all of us have heard the definition of insanity.
People change. Sure, they do. When something changes enough in their life so that their way of acting simply doesn't work anymore. If it works...there is no reason to stop. Yet, all I can control is myself...me changing, so I demand more and don't accept less.
My mother is desperately like this. She gets fed up with bad behavior and lets it affect her deeply...knowing full well that she is unable to trust certain people or situations from prior experience. Yet, she goes back...over and over again, and gets hurt over and over again.
Somehow we always end up getting hurt. Sometimes you just have to say...I can't trust this person. When it's family, though, it makes it tough. When it's your children's father...well...you have to make some tough choices.
I want to move away. 300 miles. Close to my lil one's grandmother (who has helped raise her), and her uncles with their new babies (my brothers who I am incredibly close). So I have to make some tough choices...and decide if it's better to grow up with dad, or with a community of people who can help raise her?
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That's a choice only you can make. No matter what you decide, take some time to search your heart, know that you are making the right decision, and never look back. It's not easy.
ReplyDeleteWhew. That is a toughie. But that's exactly what Jenni did and she's pretty happy about it so far: http://dearestmexo.com/
ReplyDeleteWould Dad allow you to move away? If yes, then I would do it in a heartbeat. My family is all overseas and I felt very isolated while raising my kids. I would have loved them to know their cousins and aunts and uncles better.
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